Books to be read (Part 1)

Inspired by a book I read that encouraged me to visualize what I want and the request for a book list (see previous posting) I find myself looking up book lists (Top Ten, What I've Read, Best Reads, Best Sellers . . . you get the idea) to discover and 'claim' books I would like to own and read. First to be 'visualized' is Elizabeth Gilbert's 'intensely articulate, sensible, moving and funny memoir of self-discovery about what can happen when you claim responsibility for your own contentment'. Her book? Eat, Pray, Love.

The next book on my want-to-read list is Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace... One School at a Time by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. I think the following review reveals why this book would catch my interest: "Laced with drama, danger, romance, and good deeds, Mortenson's story serves as a reminder of the power of a good idea and the strength inherent in one person's passionate determination to persevere against enormous obstacles." Along the same line is this book I must get my hands on: Leaving Microsoft to Change the World: An Entrepreneur's Odyssey to Educate the World's Children by John Wood.

In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan would be a book I would like to read because it challenges me to eat what I don't like - greens! The book looks impressive.

What should I read?

One of my students, after making the comment that we share a similar interest when it comes to the books we read, suggested that I write for him a list of books that he could check out. I mulled over the idea and the more I thought about it, the more excited I got. Yes, why not a list - Peter's recommended books to read list. There's just so many books out there and searching for the right one to read can be difficult. Why not get someone who shares a similar interest suggest books they liked or like to have read - the chances of those books being suitable for you will be higher than if you had to rummage through bookshops searching for 'the book' to buy and read. So here it goes, my first list of books I read and I think you would enjoy reading too (if you had a similar interest):

1. Paulo Coelho - The Alchemist
2. All of Neil Gaiman's short stories
3. Dean Koontz for action, thrills and some gore
4. Sue Townsend's books on Adrian Mole to put a smile on your face
5. Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and First Things First to get your life in order
6. Jeffrey Archer's short stories - the best collection of short stories with surprising and delightful twists at the end of each well crafted tale
7. Mitch Albom's last 3 books to warm your heart and make you aware of what's really important in life
8. Bill Bryson's books that will help you learn about the world while you are laughing

If you are reading this, do post a comment on my list and even send me your list. What would you suggest students in secondary schools read? Happy reading!

A new year, a new 'being'

It been some time since I posted anything. The good news is I'm getting more excited and positive about teaching and am more positive overall. I also have had very few bouts with depression though I struugle hard to overcome feelings of fear over the lack/absence of money and the frustration of always having not enough. If you are reading this (I wonder why) please drop in a line - love to know who's reading my blog. Happy day . . .

Lessons from a field trip

Last week I took some of my students for a field trip to Sabah - KK, Manukan and Kinabalu Park. It was rather disappointing and boring as the students were rather disinterested in the places they visited and what it offered or what was around. The first question asked when in KK was "Where's the nearest cybercafe?" The students showed very little or no interest in the flora and fauna of the island and mountain, were disinterested and oblivious of their surroundings (buildings, people, sights and sounds) and the boys were consumed with computer games (many brought their gadjets and laptops to ensure uninterrupted continous computerised entertainment). Several of them constantly complaint, mostly about everything not being of highest standard and 5 star quality (I wonder if they realise they are getting what they paid for). The Koreans students had one thing on their mind (and stomach) - Korean food. They could not eat what was served and 2 boys were very hungry by the end of the trip. They ate little and supplemented their diet with junk food and the occasional KFC.
Next time I will need to do the following:

1. limit travelling time - if its too long, plan o make it interesting
2. check the food - ask for menu before trip and ensure quality, meet requirements etc. Check if anyone has allergies and for the Koreans, their own food. Consider having BBQ.
3. plan games, activities, challenges and things to do as groups throughout the trip
4. when in the city, plan for shopping and cybercafe
5. when grouping students, put birds of the same feather together
6. try to identify hidden/extra cost (Manukan island - for every activity had to pay!)
7. got to be more organised and well planned before going - pre trip planning, exposure, homework etc
8. minimise having to wake up early

Purpose in life or just existence?

It is times like this that make me understand why some people just check out of life. I am in a limbo, merely breathing and going through the motions, doing what is expected of me without any passion or personal fulfilment or achievement. Makes me wonder about this extremely strong push by success gurus and the Bible on knowing your purpose and living a life aimed at fulfilling it. What if there is NO purpose - we just exist, fighting to survive, be king of the hill and enjoy the spoils? What if Darwin was right - life is just a fight of the fittest and those who lose fade away, insignificant and very quickly forgotten? The winner? Well he enjoys the spoils of his victory for a season and then he too disappears buit with a smile on his face, not like the other guy who goes into oblivion sad, depressed and downcast. The only difference is when and how we make our exit.
I am just so tired and angry at my present condition, i.e. my life. It feels like its always a battle, one that I very rarely win. I'm forever in lack and 'no money' has become the monster crusher that breaks into a thousand spliners all my plans, hopes and dreams. I am left with a few strands of dreams and plans that wither in my hand, leaving me hopeless and angry. Will I ever be able to make enough to cover all my needs and fund all my dreams and projects or will I be one who will die unfinished. My epitaph will read: He dreamt and started but could never finish. His life was an unfinished work (due to lack of funds).
My work sucks - useless administration work and exercises that have no eternal value - and I have lost almost all my enthusiasm here. There is no friendship and comradrie here with any one - some casual acquaintances - and I feel all alone, left to do my load with no one concerned or willing to help until I make a mistake. Then many are interested, come to gently rebuke and offer ""You cannot do that" or"You are in trouble" advice which makes me wonder where they were and what they were doing when I began my journey towards my mistake. The work environment and collegues are not condusive for success or for feeling well. Another minus at this place of work.
Just exist or living for a purpose? At the moment is just striving to make it to the end of the day without reaching my end . . .

Checking in

Work pressure has eased considerably as the year winds down and only the final exam challenge looms darkly in the corner of my mind - will worry about that later. Have been simmering in frustration as more and more items are needed but I am unable to cough up the money needed to buy them - a pair of spectacles (bi-focal, yes . . I'm growing old), work shoes and a CD/mp3/radio player to name a few. Of course, there's the endless list of items needed to complete our unfinished 'open' house. It screams to me daily: Failure. Loser. Poor man. Unable to provide. Will you ever finish this house? Where and when will you ever get the finances to complete this project. Aaaarrrrghhh!!!! Now you know why the Incredible Hulk is one of the few superheroes I identify closely with.
The students in school are getting very stressed out. Some are showing classic signs of stress and I'm worried for their phycological condition. Hope they will be well.
Me? Well I'm slipping into a semi-depressed, shutdowm mode, doing the minimum and taking everything slow. I feel I'm wasting my life away as I slip down the slope of poverty and failure. Living zombie with no bite or passion. What a life!

De-stressed

The one week holiday spent mostly at home has done wonders. I felt rested and light and a huge load of stress has been lifted. I woke up late, helped around in the farm, played with my daughter and did some chores. I basically had a laid-back week with the most important people in my life and it was very curative.
Now I'm back to work with a new level of vigour, inner confidence and strangely a new level of spirituality - more conscious of God and a desire to read the Bible and pray.
I've also stumbled on some writings on overcoming worry that basically encouraged me to take one day at a time and one task at a time and not sweat over what not able to be done (past) or what will have to be done (future) - just what I am able to do the best today.
Am also looking at eating a more proper and balanced diet. Only set back - getting very sleepy and heavy-headed again.