Peter's Pain

Thoughts on not doing it alone . . .

2012-01-17T10:23:00.000+08:00

Today's Bible reading (Exodus 18:13-24) said a lot to me, so I like to jot down thoughts and questions that arose for me to mull on and maybe for you my kind reader to comment (and benefit from) too.

What is this thing that you are doing for the people . . . alone?
The thing that you do is not good.

Oh how I wish I too can have people like Jethro in my life, who know me and what I am doing and care enough to speak into my life when they see something wrong. I pray I will be surrounded by counsellors who will offer their experience and wisdom even when I'm too busy to ask for it.

You and your people will surely wear themselves out . . .

Just realised that if (and when) a leader is worn out (burnt out) the people he/she is leading will also suffer the same fate!

For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself.

What am I doing that is 'too much' for me; that I am unable 'to perform' by myself? Oh may I have the eyes to see and the wisdom and humility to say, "This is too much for me; I am not able to do this by myself!" I wonder if the many dreams/projects/programmes I want to do have fallen into this category?

Listen to my counsel (advice) and God will be with you.

Who am I listening and is God with me as a result?

You stand before God . . . teach them . . . show them . . . deal with the 'great matters'
BUT also you SELECT among all the people, men/women who are

God-fearing
truth lovers
honest (hate covetousness)

To become rulers over 10, 50, 100, 1000 and they

do the 'small matters'
judge the people
bear the burden WITH you

If you do this, you will ENDURE and your people will go home in peace.

I need to select 'rulers' and to delegate responsibilities and care to them, so that my burden is shared and I can endure; those I lead can go home happy!

Lord, help me form a dream team for every project I do. Help me find the right men and women, select them and delegate to them some of my burdens so that together the work is done, the workers are okay and the people are blessed.

I've been robbed . . .

2011-11-15T13:48:00.001+08:00

It has finally sunk in and I am going to admit it: the lifestyle I had been practising six months ago was comfortably supported by the income I was getting six months ago but the same lifestyle today can no longer be supported by the same amount I was getting six months ago! Pay same, way of living same but today I can't afford to continue the way I have been living - I actually am slowly but surely being forced to downsize!

I guess what happened is as I went to work, slept and lived my normal life, the cost of living just rose slowly but surely and like the proverbial frog being boiled slowly in a pot, I never knew I was getting cooked until my wallet began to hurt!

After several years of living with enough and a little extra to bless others, I am back to those old days when I lived in lack. Ouch, never thought I would return to those 'terrible lean years'!

So I have begun looking for ways to trim the fat, deciding what I can discontinue, cut down or stretch but I fear the pay I am presently getting can only be stretched so much before it goes 'poof' (disappears into thin air). I guess its back to doing two or three jobs at the same time (those 'lean years' pushed me hard). I've identified 7.30-11.30am as the time I can do something else and am looking to be actively doing something(s) during this time to generate between RM1000 to RM2000 a month.

Any ideas/suggestions?

As a stop gap measure I will be selling off some of my belongings beginning with some books from my library - keep in the loop (visit my FB) to know what I am selling off.

I hope you are having better days but take my case as a call to look at your situation - is what you are doing and what you are getting financially enough any more or have you been robbed too?

Edit like this laa

2011-11-03T13:51:00.004+08:00

There's no room for lapse of attention or ignoring a single word (what more a sentence) when editing news.

Got gently rebuked and reminded on two matters:

For a picture caption story, look at the picture (and if pictureS, select the best) and make sure the sentences fit the picture. Also, for caption story there must be at least 2-3 sentences (not one complex sentence).
The paragraph that says where and when some guy said something important which was used in the first paragraph must only appear after third paragraph. Do not insert the info (where, when) in first paragraph.

Then there's this question: Is it 'an initiative BY the government . . .' or 'an initiative OF the government . . .'? Chief editor says its 'OF' and not 'BY'. Any English masters wanna comment?

A question of importance (reports and reporters)

2011-10-18T20:55:00.003+08:00

Lesson #101
When editing a news report, make sure you transfer paragraphs with important information and personalities to the top of the article (note: reporters don't know this and write what they want and put information all over the article - editors have to go collecting and rearranging. Go figure). Problem for me - how do you decide/know who and what is 'important'?
Also, I must remember to pick and chose and rearrange sentences so that the report is less cluttered and all the facts tally. Wow . . .
With this new knowledge, how I wish certain writing-challenged reporters be released from duty and I guess whenever SP sends in reports, I must remember Lesson #101.

Do it right

2011-10-14T14:19:00.002+08:00

Write

5-year-old

not

5 year old

and

all numbers from 1 to 9 must be SPELT

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine

OK BOSS

Enjoying what you do

2011-10-14T14:17:00.000+08:00

I am beginning to see that I desire a workplace where I am challenged to do something great/significant for the life of an individual or many. Also the environment has to be positive and encouraging - people care about you and are friendly and good work is noticed and praise is a constant. I guess making a change in people's lives and doing something, no matter how small, that makes a difference for somebody, somewhere, is what excites me and makes my day. News editing . . .

Green company encourages biking to work (if only!)

2011-09-27T20:04:00.000+08:00

As a former mountain bike enthusiast who triedto ride to work, I read with amusement the chronicles of a journalist who triedto do the same in KL.

I think it’s a great idea if:

We can reduce the heat outdoors to aspring-time low of 22 Celsius
Build side lanes for bicycles
Have companies that seriously encouragestaff to come to work on a bicycle

Wouldn’t it be great to have a company thatwas serious in encouraging all its employees to come to work riding a bicycle?How can a company do this? Here are my ideas:

Give bicycles or cash aid to buy bicycles
Build shower stalls in the office building(I get all hot and sweaty by the time I arrive) and changing rooms (don’texpect me to wear long sleeves and formal pants while riding – you must be jokingor crazy)
Have a parking bay for the bikes
Provide free bicycle care/workshop
Have outings/activities for staff wherebicycles are needed.

The benefit: healthy staff, less pollutionand boasting rights as a green company.

Any company want to do this?

Leave your heart with us . . .

2011-09-27T19:59:00.000+08:00

Read in a local newspaper recently anissue very dear to me - organ donation. I signed up as an organ donor someyears ago and I believe every caring and responsible human should leave behindtheir organs when they die (you are not going to use them and in a few hoursall your organs will begin to rot away).

As Christians, the belief that thephysical body is a temporary tent and that God has promised a new body in theresurrection are good enough reasons to donate our organs the moment we die.

I also learnt that giving your organs whenyou die is known as cadaveric donation.

I then learnt that you can donate someorgans while you are still ALIVE – life organ donation. Wow, that’s a challengeI would consider if I could give away something I could spare so some one elsemay live . . .

Being an ‘idea man’ I had this crazy idea:create an advert for newspapers and billboards with the phrase ‘Please leavebehind your heart when you leave . . .’ with a suitable background picture.Anybody want to add to this idea or take it up?

Lastly, something that REALLY irritates me –there is no clear place or person to contact in Kuching for organ donation. Ifyou know anything about this, PLEASE letme know. I’ve got friends who want to give their hearts (and kidney andeyeballs . . .) away.

Teachers making a difference

2011-09-10T17:32:00.000+08:00

OK, here's the idea. I'll put it up here so there's a record and maybe somebody would even respond to it (if anyone reads this blog . . .).
Several weeks ago I preached on the importance of more Christians purposely choosing to become teachers and the need for them to aspire to become the BEST teachers and the BEST witnesses in whatever school they are in.
I also noted that for this to happen there needs to be a body dedicated on doing this - a body I dream of forming and maybe Shalom (the church I am presently pastoring) would play a key role in.
Then I cam across www.teachforamerica.org and its Malaysian counterpart www.teachformalaysia.org
What a wonderful programme and I pray something great will come out of the Malaysian one.
So what can I do? Here are some ideas (I got lots of them, remember):

hold an annual booster retreat for teachers and teachers to be where they are pampered and provided talks/workshops by great Christian leaders/teachers on how to become the best teacher and evangelist they can be
encourage volunteer teaching especially for the poor and rejected by (a) running weekend classes, (b) edu programme for kampung schools during holidays and (c) free pre-exam revision classes/seminars

Now, is this a good idea or a God idea and how to make it a reality?

Second name fiasco

2011-09-09T14:28:00.002+08:00

Ooops . . . made a mistake concerning second mention of names in my editing yesterday.

This is the rule: the first time name of a person is mentioned in a report give it in full. Subsequent mentions use his first name (for Chinese) or surname.

My mistake: Dayak names - do you use first name, second name or third name? I assume if the guy's name was Anjie Jingga, then second mention I'll use 'Jingga' (i.e. his surname) but then I was wrong. I was informed 'Jingga' would most probably be his father's name so for Dayaks (to play safe) use 1st name, i.e. 'Anjie'.

But then there are exceptions. Datuk James Jemut Masing is 'Masing' not "Jemut" . . . ah! the joy of learning the exceptions.

Many good ideas, no good work

2011-09-08T20:52:00.000+08:00

I am slowly resigning myself to the 'fact' that I am an ideas man - I always have many ideas of what should or could be done and even go as far as planning and sharing my ideas but almost all (the ideas) have never taken off; it's so frustrating when I think of what could but didn't.
For instance the idea of having a house near UNIMAS and UiTM to serve as a safe haven for students to get a feel of home, affordable food and a safe place to relate that can serve as a platform for outreach and community (student) work. . . yet no lift off as no house and rental money, no cook and no manager for the home.
And the idea of doing something for teachers - start an organisation to promote Christians to become teachers and then have events and back-up strategies to help these teachers become the best teachers and best Christian witness in their schools. Nice idea but do I have the manpower, the means etc etc etc . . .
As I said I have many good ideas of what would be good to do but . . . fantasy is fantasy, isn't it?

Its all about the Lead

2011-08-21T07:30:00.001+08:00

Sometimes what a writer presents as the lead for her story is unsuitable and as an editor it is my responsibility to source out a ‘better’ and ‘new’ lead from the article written. This was the advice given to me recently when I faithfully accepted a lead concerning social responsibility and religious obligations in a certain news report. I got this note:

Social responsibilities and religious obligations are important but not strong enough to be a lead. We (editors) need to highlight something ‘new’ or ‘rarely heard’. In the news report you edited, I believe the suggestion to provide a discount and hour before the breaking of fast something rarely heard of . . .

Sometimes the lead story is ‘stale’ and may have been touched on in the past. Again, something fresh needs to be the replacement lead; for this to happen you need to remember past news and be able to ‘see’ new and exciting’ leads.

Lastly, find something that is ‘big’ to be a lead. Which one is bigger – donating RM35K or 1000 martial arts exponent to attend? The original lead was ‘donating RM35K’ which was seen as common and not a VERY large sum. The new lead was the participation of 1000 performers. Got it? Big.

This dog learns new things daily

2011-08-12T10:08:00.001+08:00

Learning continues almost every day here at the editors work room . . . programme is with two m's and something else has two l's after a vowel, create a space between paragraphs, a press release is about 500-800 words only - cut out everything else and leave the basic 5W's about the event being released to the press, base jumping is spelt BASE jumping, headlines in present or present continous tense and cut out 'together' from the phrase 'together with' - faham? Yup, nemu aku!

Oh ya . . . yesterday I completed my first 30 days at work . . . still adjusting

Missing

2011-07-30T20:25:00.000+08:00

The painful reality is setting in. I've missed Friday and Saturday night with my daughter as I'm at work and she's at home playing and watching TV without me . . .
My wife's attending a 3 night Christian concert which began yesterday and I'm not able to be with her and enjoy the concert too . . .
Though I have the mornings with her and pockets of time with my daughter, I miss them and the night events I can no longer attend . . .
Is the sacrifice worth it? Only time will tell.

Careful always

2011-07-29T14:11:00.000+08:00

Meticulous - 1. Extremely careful and precise or 2. Extremely or excessively concerned with details.

Yup, that's the word that sum's up an editors work ethic and standard whenever he/she is editing. I learnt this the last few days after my edited reports where edited by senior editors and returned to me with many red markings/corrections (now I feel what my students felt . . .). What did the corrections in red whisper loudly to me?

be careful when deleting unwanted words and phrases - make sure you completely deleted everything
double check the days/dates mentioned (past and future events can be wrongly reported if you screw this matter up)
when there's a short point or sentence here and there, find somewhere in another paragraph to slip it in.

Well that's it for now. Gotta go, gotta be meticulous, man!

Better rewriting of news reports

2011-07-23T23:55:00.002+08:00

What do you mean by this?

What is this?

Never cause your reader to ask these questions when reading a news report you edited is the latest advice I got.

I had allowed certain acronyms and names slip through that lacked explanation or was not understood and I did not call up the writers to clarify.

Also I was not sensitive enough to catch possible contradicting information in one or two of the reports edited yesterday.

Lastly, I need to make sure all information given is complete and learn to ask “Why?” and “What’s this?” when reading a piece to ensure it is complete and self-explanatory.

So much to learn and making mistakes here and there . . . hope it won’t cost me . . .

Show and tell?

2011-07-21T06:32:00.000+08:00

What's wrong with this heading?

Exciting plans for SJB unveiled

Clue: it has something to do with the rule "Show don't tell"

Apparently for newspaper headings, you don't include unnecessary adjectives to express opinion (i.e. exciting). Just 'show' what has happened or been done.

Trees to be planted at SJB

SJB's green corridor to be extended

Another lesson to learn . . .

Two heads are better

2011-07-19T13:15:00.000+08:00

I've made some improvement with my headers but there’s still so much room for improvement. For example, for an article about a man who published a book on his life on his 80^th birthday, I created the heading “80^th birthday book reveals author’s colourful life”. The heading was finally changed (and improved) by better editors to read “Octogenarian publishes memoirs”! Where did he find ‘octogenarian’? And ‘memoirs’ for ‘book on colourful life’ was just brilliant!

My other headers (I write about 6-12 headers for reports I am assigned to edit) that were changed reveal a lack on my part – I didn’t mention ‘who’ in the headline. “More campaigns promised” became “SMC promises more drives . . .” and “. . . family day a big success” to “. . . family day a big success for members”

Lastly, I also have a tremendous opportunity to better my editing skills. A senior editor took one of my edited articles and improved on it, showing me how much more I could have done to create a better edited report. I realise redundancy of words is a no-no and flow of information is important. Lastly, if only one guy is quoted saying this and that throughout the report, I can drop the “he said” and “he added” usually used. Thanks T.

Oh my headers

2011-07-17T07:51:00.000+08:00

The heading for a news report is very important but one requires a unique skill to be able to create correct and interesting ones. I realised this when several headings I had okayed were changed before printing and the corrected ones were, I believe, better. I am thankful for these examples and the challenge to create better headings. Here are some samples of before and after headings:

B: Woman loses bag in car as she pops into convenience store

A: Woman loses expensive items when motorcyclist steals bag

B: Foreign duo held over RM480000 from robberies

A: Foreign duo detained to help in probe into robberies

B; Robbery spills into the great Rajang

A: Armed duo rob boat skipper

There's much to learn by just comparing these before and after headings - go figure!

Of writers and layout guys

2011-07-15T23:42:00.000+08:00

Back to work after two days off.

Today I learnt that as an editor I am not to assume what the reporter has written is completely correct and acceptable - I can rearrange paragraphs, rephrase sentences and even alter the focus of the news if the one selected by the writer is considered less important as opposed to something else also in the report. Even so, contacting the reporter first to discuss what he/she wrote and to run through changes you plan to make is a good idea.

The page editing is also challenging especially when there are mistakes and changes you must make quickly and correctly before the page is approved and sent for printing. Today one of the layout guys was slow in preparing one of the pages I was assigned to edit - had to wait about 1 1/2 hours to get the finished page. Even so, glad he managed to get it done before 11 pm.

Ooops . . . oh no!

2011-07-12T23:28:00.000+08:00

I made a grammatical error in one of the headlines last night so got called by the boss for a drink and a friendly rebuke cum explanation on my mistake and how to improve. This has made me more cautious and less confident in my editing abilities but this is how one learns . . .
Just realised I have to cancel several speaking engagements as they are all at night on days I am working. Will my social life (meetings, functions etc.) and ministry (night meetings) be affected by my work-at-night schedule to the point of it being detrimental? Only time will tell . . .
I'm on leave for the next two days (Wednesday and Thursday are my present off days).

New Life!

2011-07-12T10:44:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I began a new career as an editor at the Borneo Post. Yes, I resigned from Lodge International School (goodbye school life and demands) to take up something new and challenging. It's interesting many ask me, "So what actually does an editor do?" Well, I'm slowly finding out. I started yesterday by editing 8 news articles and then edited page 3 of the newspaper (yes, editing means checking the written work to ensure its readable, content-correct and grammatically right - just like what I did for all the essays my students wrote!). I got to work around 2 pm and finally finished my assigned task around 11.30 pm. Picked up some do's and don't's and began building some vital relationships.

Durian Hope

2010-10-18T13:32:00.004+08:00

Several years ago, when I was still living in the farm and believed my dream of developing the farm into a financially viable project, I managed to get several durian seedlings from the Agriculture Department. The seedlings were supposed to be of some good (clone) quality. Now, one of those seedlings not only managed to survive and grow up but has produced some fruits - for the first time.

The tree is not too tall but looks healthy.

There are about 8-10 fruits slowly developing and if the squirrels don't get to them and eat all up, maybe this year end, I'll have a few durians to eat.

Astonishing Teacher

2010-09-07T08:42:00.002+08:00

My Bible reading the last few days have drawn my attention to certain practices and effects a great teacher owns. For today, I read that when Jesus finished teaching, his audience were astonished at His teachings. I know that there have been times that after teaching, my audience was astonished too . . . that they survived such a boring or difficult lessons! Not only did He astonish his audience, it is said that those listening to Jesus ascribed His greatness to 'one having authority'. Maybe this is the missing ingredient in teaching today - teachers are authority-less. Teachers teach with no teeth! I wonder what happened? Have a look at Matthew 7:28-29 and if you are a teacher, join me in praying: "Heavenly Father, help me to teach so that when the lesson comes to an end, my students are astonished. Also, give me the authority I need as a teacher. I want to be authority-full when I teach. Amen."

Think about

2010-07-17T16:13:00.002+08:00

Some interesting observations/thoughts I picked up when in Sibu recently:

We try to save (money) when we have nothing but spend all when we have a lot (better scenario: when have nothing spend wisely, when have lot, save)
Spend your salary, save your abundance (money from other sources, not your main income/earnings/salary)

2010-05-11T18:52:00.002+08:00

If a picture paints a thousand words, then this picture is a good depiction of my life at present. School till 4 (filled with all sorts of responsibilities, challenges and lessons to teach), endless markings of essays, responsibilities at home, tuition, counselling etc etc etc before I literally fall asleep wherever I am, dreading the hour I have to wake up and start again. I got to leave now; have to go see a couple to provide them with pre-marriage advice. See ya!

Lessons From Mistakes

2010-05-07T17:46:00.004+08:00

It has been a very emotionally draining experience - a student was extremely offended by my words, jokes and style of teaching. I made the effort to explain my intentions and what I actually meant but I believe that when words hurt, reason makes no sense and is only seen as an excuse. I acknowledged my wrong and publicly apologized. It was the right thing to do but I am saddened and emotionally drained. I pray no more such episodes will take place. What did I learn from this?

What's funny for one, is offensive to the other. Be careful when joking and jesting in class and try never to laugh at or make a joke of a student or else disaster awaits.
In a multi racial class, the potential to step on sensitive 'toes' abound - learn to walk far away from such feet and be highly sensitive to certain students' reactions
Realize your words carry shades of meanings and its the receiver's/listener's interpretation that counts - not what you said but what she believed you said.
Hurting people hurt people - students come from various backgrounds and situations. Some are hurting and what you say and do can increase pain that already exist.
Trust God, do what is right, be humble and seek the best for all in these situations.

May God be gracious, just and true on all of us. Amen.

Beautiful river

2010-04-29T18:08:00.002+08:00

This is the scene of a river we 'discovered' recently - really is beautiful, soothing and calming.

Generation Y

2010-04-28T18:49:00.003+08:00

Got this from an email forwarded by my brother - makes sense with all the Y's I've seen (mostly gross) as well as belly buttons (Generation O?):

The Silent Generation are people born before 1946.
The Baby Boomers are people born between 1946 and 1959.
Generation X are people born between 1960 and 1989.
Generation Y are people born between 1990 and now.

Why do we call the last one generation Y? I did not know, but a cartoonist explains it eloquently below...Learned something new today.

Teacher or student?

2010-04-24T07:37:00.002+08:00

Another article has been published in my column, which by the way has a new look (I think this one's much better, thanks to friend Adrian's help) and it touches on the question: Whose responsibility is it to make learning English a desirable act? Here's an excerpt:

When it comes to learning English does the onus stand on the teacher to wave his magical wand of creativity and enthusiasm that will enable his students to learn English (proven by good grades and obvious language mastery) or does it depend on the student to come to class hungering to master English coupled with an untiring willingness to pay attention and participate actively in all the exercises and activities poured out by her English teacher?

Want to read more and add your comments, click here for the full article.

You tweet?

2010-04-23T10:31:00.002+08:00

Signed up for Twitter and now twiddling with it . . . yet to impress me. Looks more like a program that allows me to eavesdrop on the world and see what teens are feeling and doing (usually not so great . . .). Anyway, I'm a Twitter. Tweet,tweet,tweet . . .

You are FAT!

2010-04-19T21:35:00.003+08:00

A colleague (while offering me some prunes) whispered loudly, “You’re putting on so much fat”. Now I’m feeling all rotten inside and the smile on my face has disappeared together with any ounce of confidence. The blistering honest comment is like a merciless mirror that mocks at me as I stand naked before it and am forced to acknowledge that I have grown bigger, putting on pounds of blubber around my waist, back, neck and face.

Images from the humiliating The Biggest Loser Asia flash across my tortured mind.

I know I must be thinner, I know I must eat healthily and I know but I must exercise but I also know I love food and want to eat often, I know I have very little desire for exercising (the effort, time taken and resulting pain is very discouraging) and I know my trousers and shirts are getting tight (and it pains me literally to wear them, both physically and emotionally).

It is a perennial problem that I not only have not been able to solve but one that has grown bigger and stronger. How discouraging. How demporalizing. How tiring.

All efforts relying on self-will and determination to do what I know I should (see blog posting on April 1st) last from within a few hours to a few days.

Will I turn into a large, ugly, fat, bouncy hulk of blubber and die from one of the millions of death-producing diseases related to being fat? Will I ever be able to have and keep always a healthy fit body with a BMI of 20 and a lifestyle that includes hours of great exercise daily? I dunno; this old dog is tired of trying and not keen of learning new tricks and changing his lifestyle . . . yet it hurts and feel bad when the reminders (both verbal and emotional) scream mockingly at you “You’re fat”!

Hurray for Angels!

2010-04-18T21:21:00.003+08:00

Daphne Lee’s (daphne.blogs.com/books) column in STARMAG today was a breath of fresh air as she makes a bold prediction – we are getting tired with the deluge of stories littered with zombies, vampires and werewolves; it’s time for something uplifting, fresh, positive and may I say clean. The answer? ANGELS!

New literary series where angels are the key characters are presently being published. Some revolve around romantic relations between angels and humans while others present angels with good looks and supernatural abilities and powers. As immortal beings that are accepted by the religious as ministering beings and by unbelievers as mythological creatures, they provide a healthy and better alternative to the demonic, dark and gruesome creatures of Twilight fame as all its kind in this genre.

Angels are fantastic beings, their exploits recorded by all three monotheistic religions as well as a slew of testimonies from thousands who claimed to have had an encounter with angels. All this can be mined and explored to provide stunning fantasy novels for both the young adult and adult readership.

A series that looks to have a great future would be Angelology where a nun stands between a conflict between a society of angelologist and the Nephilims (another great source of stories, especially how they came about and what happened to them). This series by Danielle Trussoni is soon to be available (read an excerpt) .

What can I say except give me angels anytime. Enough of glorifying dark demonic evil beings as characters to be emulated, pitied and worship. Give me an angel anytime (Gabriel, Michael and Azrael would be great starters).

What's significant?

2010-04-17T20:30:00.002+08:00

It is not the mundaneness of marking countless essays that saps me and leaves me unmotivated but its the desire to make most of my life time doing what is meaningful and significant - it is hard to see this in the often unappreciated and endless markings. How much of the time used up for this thankless activity could be used for more meaningful and appreciated activities or in other words is this activity significant? Anyway enough of rambling - I'll get back to the books and mark them well as soon as I can (I am responsible even if I'm not enthusiastic about this duty).

On a brighter note - I went looking for a river to conduct water baptism and found a lovely one on the way to Bau in one of the small kampungs along the road. The scenery and the very act of walking in the pebble strewn river catching small sucker fish was simply rejuvenating and reminded me of what's missing in my life. Am so thankful for the few hours there.

Drowning . . . in the blues

2010-04-15T20:18:00.002+08:00

The last few days have been difficult as I am drained of (almost) all my passion and sense of importance in relation to my work. The unending and overwhelming number of essays and written answers to be marked, corrected and commented on is the one excruciating dread I have as a teacher; its a constant and prime source of deep depression (one which I am presently downing in). I have begun to entertain the idea of leaving to do something less stressful and one that I'm passionate about but without anything remotely possible or available, I will have to bite the bullet and keep my head above these blue waters till passion and power is restored. Till then . . .

Got my own column (again)!

2010-04-09T22:50:00.006+08:00

A student approached me today and said, "I read what you wrote in the papers today." Wondering what she was referring to, I asked her and she dug out today's copy of the Eastern Times and showed me page 4. To my surprise, there was my column, Peter's Write Words, with my first article 'Have you read lately?'!

I have been in consultation and contact with the newspaper and have been faithfully meeting their request but I was not informed that my proposed column had the green light and was going to be published today - what a surprise. And to think that if my student had not mentioned about it . . .

I'll be writing a weekly column on English and all that's related to it (the listening, speaking, writing and reading of English) - don't forget to get a copy of the Eastern Times every Friday from now on. Happy reading!

Here's a scan of the article if you missed it!

For the rest of you who can't get hold of the paper or won't buy it, read all my articles here . . . please.

Easter - Good news for sinners (like me)!

2010-04-07T18:40:00.002+08:00

Here are some thoughts on Easter from Pastor Rick Warren which I believe explains so beautifully why I am most excited as a Christian when it comes to celebrating Easter (even more excited than Christmas):

Through the blood of his Son, we are set free from our sins. God forgives our failures because of his overflowing kindness. Ephesians 1:7 (GWT)

There have been a lot of great religious teachers throughout history. They've all had good things to say, but what makes Jesus different from every other religious teacher throughout history is the fact that he died and rose again.
That's of critical importance because it's not the life of Jesus that saves you; it's not the teachings of Jesus that save you; it's his death and resurrection that open the door for your salvation.

The Bible says that justice demands punishment. If you do the crime, you pay the time. If you break the law, you pay the fine. If you get caught speeding, you get a ticket. If you break God's laws, you pay God's penalty and, according to the Bible, "the wages [for our] sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23 NLT).

In other words, somebody has to pay for all the things you've done wrong in life: either you pay or somebody else pays for you. And this is where God says, "I'll do it!" He steps up to the plate. Jesus Christ is sent to earth—God in human form—and he says, in effect, "I will pay for your sins."

When Jesus died on the cross for you, it showed two things:

1. It showed how much your forgiveness cost. The highest price you can pay for anything is to give your life for it. And that's what Jesus did. He gave his blood. He gave his life. It was extremely expensive. Grace is free but it is not cheap. It cost Jesus his life, but he paid for your sins.

2. It shows how much God values you. It shows how much you matter to God. Jesus died for you on the cross. It shows the highest price possibly to be paid was giving a life.

Thank God it's Friday

2010-04-02T23:22:00.003+08:00

Today's Good Friday and I'm relieved that the death of Jesus is a historical fact attested by believers and non-believers alike. I am so glad the death of Jesus has dealt the death blow to man's (mine included) biggest problem: sin. Today my debt to God because of my failure to live up to his standards have been paid in full thus erased; my bondage to various destructive sins have been completely busted - I'm free from the bondage of sin; best of all, my guilt and shame and sense of filth due to sins committed have been washed away all because of Jesus' death on the cross (the pouring out of blood from Jesus' wounds played an important role). So what can I say except Thank God It's Friday!

The ideal eating guideline

2010-04-01T21:42:00.003+08:00

Gotta get used to eating these guys . . . a LOT!

To NOT be overweight (after you realize you are one of those thousands heading towards obesity) I believe these simple rules that are almost impossible to obey are necessary to maintain a healthy weight and waistline. Here it goes:

Breakfast for a king - eat most and keep it healthy with lots of cereal, fruits and some bread
Lunch for a prince - a reasonable lunch (half of what you normally eat) with a piece of meat, lots of vegetables and some carbo (rice will do fine)
Dinner for a pauper - a saucer full of something similar for lunch.
NO meals in between. If hungry, eat what's promoted in Law 5
Eat TONS of fruit and vegetables (nuts too) - sounds like I need to be a almost converted vegan or vegetarian
NO fried stuff whatsoever, NO oils (or oily food) and NO fat (yes, that includes butter)
NO eating after 8 pm
Eat ONLY WHITE meat - de-skinned and de-fat chicken and lots of fish
Allow sometimes itsy-bitsy portions of sweets (chocolate included)
No seafood - cholesterol laden
Drink lots of PLAIN water and natural (freshly squeezed) fruit juices
Little or no sweet drinks and alcohol
Very little or no milk (non-fat milk if need to) or milk products (bye-bye cheese)

Ouch and oh!

2010-03-29T20:35:00.003+08:00

Today the stitches on 2 of my toes that were sliced open by the blade of my bush cutter ( the accident happened some 2 weeks ago) were removed. The wounds are healing slowly but well. I only hope I would not stub my toe or have someone accidentally kick them . . . ouch!

I going through one of my seasons of depression with common symptoms like being heavy-headed, sleeping a lot and loss of drive - even so, as usual, I am sure it will pass and I'll be up and going again.

Got lots of exam papers (essays and commentaries as well as summaries and letters) to mark as the first term examination rolls in. With 3 classes under my belt, the workload is challenging . . .

Wah! So long already . . .

2010-03-28T21:04:00.004+08:00

Just helped to create for my wife her blog and so I decided to have a look at mine. What a shock! I have not posted for almost a year - yikes!!! How do you guys write so much and find the time to upload daily a posting or more? Guess I have to do something but . . .

Story in progress

2009-05-08T09:05:00.006+08:00

My students sometime come up with some ingenious ideas when writing narratives. Here a new twist to the well-known Hansel and Gretel tale:

In a quiet and peaceful suburb, like one of those you see in American sitcoms, a small family lived in a lowly and plain apartment. The family consisted of a tired but loving father, who earned little, working as a dishwasher at a small, family-owned Italian restaurant, a stepmother (evil of course) and two children, Hansel, a twelve year old stringy boy with blond hair and Gretel, a ten year old bright and beautiful girl who loved to play with her father whenever the opportunity allowed.

One cold night, Hansel overheard his parents talking animatedly in whispers.

"What are we going to do? I can't support our family any longer. The bills keep on increasing, no thanks to your indulgent spending but my salary stays the same!" cried his father softly.

His stepmother replied almost immediately in a crisp firm tone, "Let go of the children. We don't need them! They're wasting too much of our hard-earned money!"

There was a minute of icy silence as his father ran his fingers through his almost greying mop of hair, a look of intense frustration smeared across his face.

"We'll leave them tomorrow night," quipped his stepmother, "We'll bring them to the city and leave them there."

Hansel cocked his ear, waiting for his father's reply. Would he actually agree to leave his two children, who were not even teens, alone in the city, he wondered. There was no reply. Only a deafening silence, a silence that screamed approval, though not one that came easily. A smirked blossomed on his stepmother's face as she took her husband to bed.

When the house finally grew silent and darkness enveloped every nook and cranny of the house, Hansel crept silently as any cat would do as it stalked its unsuspecting prey into his parent's room. Upon hearing the deafening snores of his stepmother, who now lay sprawled on a king sized bed dressed only in skimpy lingerie, he knew it was safe to do anything without waking up either his father or stepmother. Hansel strecthed out his cold shaking hand and opened the bottom drawer of the wooden cupboard that now was before him. He took out a was of dollar notes and a map of the city he knew his father had stashed there after he showed them where he had gone to get married the year before.

Hansel then returned to his room only to find his sister, who shared the room with him, wide awake. She was playing with her favourite soft toy, a little furry bunny, the last gift from her biological and now dead mother. Gretel looked up, catching her brother's eye as he crept back silently under the covers of his warm bed.

"What did you do?" she asked anxiously. Hansel proceeded to tell her of their stepmother's plan to get rid of them. Gretel was almost in tears as Hansel's words pricked her sensitive heart for she had a soft spot when it came to family issues. Hansel then tried to cheer her up, disclosing to her his plans to get them back and that cheered her up almost immediately.

The next morning, their father told them that they were going to visit a distant relative who lived in the city. The drive was fairly long and boring as Hansel and gretel kept silent all the word, never uttering a single word. Not a giggle or cough was heard and the atmosphere of the car grew tense. Finally the car came to a halt and their stepmother led them both out towards a sleazy looking apartment.

"You will be spending a few days with your aunt who said she'd meet you here. We will come back soon to see you the," she said dryly as she walked back towards the car. Hansel and Gretel knew it was a lie. They knew that they were being abandoned. The stood in front of the dirty, unpleasant apartment, waiting.

As soon as the car faded in the distance, disappearing forever from their view, Hansel and Gretel ran down the road, clutching the map Hansel had brought along, as they sought to identify he way back to their home. Hansel stopped after a few minutes and looked closely at the map saying, "If we go here and make a right turn, we should be in a public area where there would be some sort of public transport. That would make it easier for us to go home." Gretel folded the map, shoved it into her breast pocket and started running. "Wait up for me," shouted Hansel, surprised at his sisters determination.

In a few minutes they reached their destination. People of all sizes and colour flooded the streets that were on their left and right the moment the 'Walk' sign lighted up green. Hansel standing at the curb strecthed out his right hand to call for a cab and almost instantly a red and white cab screeched to halt right in front of them. Gretel slid into the backseat and started to give directions to the cab driver even as Hansel strapped himself in the front seat. The hour passed quickly. Reaching their apartment the siblings hopped out of the cab; Hansel threw the $50 note at the driver as the rushed towards the all familiar door of their apartment.

Just as Hansel was about to turn the door knob, the door opened and standing before them was their father, surprised but delighted to see them. He hugged them tightly. Their stepmother on the other hand, greeted them with a pig-like snort and a cold handshake. It was then that she saw the map sticking out of Gretels pocket.

"You don't steal from your parents. It's horrid." she warned the children as she snatched the map from Gretel. "Now get to your room, the both of you. No dinner for the two of you tonight!" she hissed.

Hansel looked sadly at his father, waiting for his reaction but there was none except for a blank reluctant casting down of his tired eyes. Hansel and Gretel went back to their rooms, aware there would be no food for them that night.

(Story will not be continued. I threw away the original copy . . .)

Long time no write!

2009-04-09T21:03:00.002+08:00

It has been a loooong time since I scribbled anything in this lonely blog of mine. The reason's simple: I am very BUSY, as in my time is taken up by some major responsibilities like work and work and more work! Also my streamyx conked out for about a month due to some stupid installation mistake . . . All in all my attention has been diverted to life changing, goal achieving, money making activities and responsibilities so sitting down, jotting random ideas usually takes back stage. I'm doing well, overcoming challenges and seeking to be better. Maybe one day I'll come back and start blogging again. Till then, have a nice day!

Painful RM20 Lesson

2008-12-03T14:03:00.004+08:00

Several months ago, I noticed people placing their parking tickets, untabbed (holes not punched) on the windscreen of their car. I then noticed that when the ticketing lady (or man) came long, he/she would take the ticket and punch the appropriate holes. If you happen to come back before this happens, you just manage to save 20 cents and will be able to use the same ticket the next time you parked. I decided to do the same and it worked! I saved a bunch of parking tickets and had to pay almost nothing. Then a few days ago, next to the unpunched parking ticket on my windscreen was a summon ('offer to compond' was the phrase on the white note) under Article 10 (1)!!! I got fined RM20 for not punching holes into the ticket!!! Well, I guess I learnt my painful RM20 lesson.

Living passionately

2008-12-02T11:42:00.004+08:00

I'm a sucker for anything positive, anything that encourages me to live my life to the fullest and to do what I desire/dream of doing. Came across this excerpt in my readings today and I thought I'll post it up as it may remind and encourage you too to use the one life you have doing what you are passionate about:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade wind in your sails. Explore. Dream Discover - Mark Twain

Discover what you are passionae about so that you can live with greater significance!

Of homework and teachers

2008-10-24T14:51:00.003+08:00

Two interesting ideas/comments that came out of a teachers meeting some time ago; I thought I'll post it up here for you to read, ponder as well as comment and for me to return to one day to write about it or to make a study and then act on it. Here it goes:

1. Purpose of homework:

preparation for what's coming
practice for what's been taught
provocation for creative ideas/solutions

2. Teachers look after the

lost
least
last

(so forget about wanting good students to teach . . .)

Balance for Success

2008-10-13T10:04:00.002+08:00

According to Mahatma Gandhi, the seven things that will destroy us are

wealth without work
pleasure without conscience
knowledge without character
commerce without morality
science without humanity
worship without sacrifice and
politics without principle

Balance IS important and Gandhi hit it on the head with his observations. Good on you Gandhi and to the rest of us, make sure you have both of each. Success!

(This information came from Tessie Lim in her article "Tale of seven desires" published in Sunday People, New Sunday Times)

Successful Seminar

2008-09-22T07:54:00.001+08:00

On the 20th of September I was given an opportunity to speak to over 200 students from Universiti Teknologi Mara, Office Management and Technology Faculty, Kuching, at the Grand Continental Hotel.

Organized by the Grandeur group (Part 4 students), the seminar entitled “Journey to a Successful Life” provided me with an excellent opportunity to present a module I’ve prepared and used in the past. The two hour talk went smoothly as the students were motivated to listen and I was excited to share.

In short, the students learnt that in order to live a successful life they had to:

a. Desire to live and to live successfully
b. Know the rules of success
c. Have instructors (mentors) to guide them on the journey
d. Experience many tests – some to fail them, some to help them move up
e. Continuously practice – create habits of success

Everyone involved were very helpful and courteous, well dressed and well mannered. I am thankful for the gifts given and even the chance to break fast with all the participants – the food was delicious.

At this seminar, I also introduced my latest book “Dapatkan Semua Yang Anda Mahu” and many of the students were happy to fork out the RM2.50 needed to get hold of another book that will help them along the journey to a successful life.

My latest book - email me to get a copy or help me distribute it

Alls well when its in the open

2008-08-12T13:40:00.002+08:00

I went clean with my students (of the last posting) and was surprised to hear that most of the 'fault' did not lie with me. Instead it was the subject, the time and the condition of the students.

Even so, I could have made things better if I improved in the following areas:

change of goal - from giving information to know in order to pass exams to information to discover and improve general knowledge
lessen amount of me talking and increase more ops for students to talk
use of multi-media

It's good to correct my wrong thinking - instead of blaming myself to finding what I can change to improve and then doing it. May this class be better next year with the changes I will be making - for my sake and sanity!

A desire too far to be achieved?

2008-08-03T22:13:00.003+08:00

I am once again in the pit of despair, all huffing and puffing about a condition I am so terribly upset about – the open rejection and apathy of some students.

I have come to my end in being patient with them, in believing the best of them, in giving them a zillion chances.

I trudge on every week, trying to get their attention and participation but its all in vain. I have given up . . .

I feel so discouraged and angry – this is the first time where I have been rejected, humiliated and disrespected by a collective group of students. I feel such a failure and am so angry with myself for not being able to get the interest and attention of the class, what more to help them learn some interesting and helpful information.

I am also concerned and saddened at the level of apathy shown by the students. It is indeed the world of the handphone, the ipod and the internet. Their whole world rotates these items, creating a make-believe world – the world of the internet, the world of music and the world of hedonistic debauchery. And if these are the leaders of tomorrow . . .

My only prayer is that the world (the real world) will come down hard on them soonest, awakening these students from their tranquilized state to the issues and important things of life so that they can be truly great and good. May they have the qualities of the great men and women of the past, worthy of awe and respect for truly great reasons and not because of the song and dance they can do, the cool parties they can hold or the useless victories from cyber games they constantly play.

(The contents of this post have been changed to meet a request from someone whom I respect and am under authority to . . .)

A lesson on fear

2008-07-08T20:25:00.001+08:00

The day I dreaded finally arrived by no choice of mine. The last tooth on my upper left jaw finally decided to leave – it began to wobble and the gums surrounding it became sore; not to mention the pain it produced that travelled through every tooth.

I picked up all the courage I had, waited patiently for my turn to see the doctor (3 hours) and finally got the tooth extracted.

Why all the fuss? In one word – PAIN or better still the fear of imagined pain.

And that was what surprised me in the end – it wasn’t anywhere as painful as I had imagined and made it to be.

First the gum area surrounding the rogue tooth was sprayed with an ice cold burst of something from a small can which looked something like a mini mosquito spray can. I assumed this was to numb my gums. Then the dreaded long needle appeared. As I braced myself for searing pain from the stabs made with the needle, I felt a one second sharp bite sensation and that was it – the doctor had jabbed me several times but I felt almost nothing. After waiting for several minutes, the famous metal pliers appeared. “Raise your hand if you feel any pain” the doctor instructed as she grasped my tooth. I waited for the pain, the tugging and pulling, the grunts from the doctor as she struggles to dislodge my tooth. Instead there was nothing and a few seconds later I hear her say: “OK, it’s done.” And that was it.

This is definitely a classic example of what fear really is – a false perception of an expected evil based on past experiences that are no longer valid. My childhood experiences of painful tooth extractions were no longer real and dentistry has progressed so much since I was in that school dental clinic in Terengganu. I guess I have to update my information and paint better scenarios in the future. I’ll need it because I know this will not be my last visit to the dentist.

I Spoke . . .

2008-06-11T15:42:00.007+08:00

In the last few weeks I have had two great opportunities to speak.

The first was on Sunday, May 25, 2008 at 3:00pm at bing! coffee in Kuching at an informal event named Words-Worth! It is a spoken word event, organised to showcase the creative talent of wordsmiths in and from Kuching. I was one of the few feature performers (the others were Robert Raymer, Azreen Zahira, Victor Lim, Georgette Tan). I had the opportunity to read aloud a few pages from my latest book (to be published My Monkey Year). It was nerve wrecking (my first time) but was a learning experience and an eye opener. Click here to read a brief write-up of the event.

Then I was in Kuala Lumpur from the 6th - 8th of June for a Youth Cocert/Seminar where I was the key speaker for the two nights and I also conducted two workshops on Saturday (Dealing With Peer Pressure and Purity In A Boy-Girl Relationship).

From the comments of two bloggers (click here and here to read their blogs) it seemed to have been well received. The organisers also verbally expressed their pleasure. I'm thankful God has helped me speak well and bless many.

Working . . . for good

2008-05-15T09:59:00.002+08:00

All seems to be going well because I am going and going and going . . . My days are full with teaching - at school, at home and other places of learning, not to mention church. With much to do and anticipated 'blessings' from all this hard 'work', I find I have little time to be depressed and have a higher level of anticipation of goodcoming my way. Life is good . . . if you work at it. SMILE!

Teacher's Hell

2008-04-23T08:02:00.003+08:00

Came across this funny video of how a teacher can be bullied to the point of torture. Thankful my students have a level of respect and decency to not stoop so low. Anyway, it is funny, so enjoy!

Depression Unplugged

2008-04-21T11:09:00.001+08:00

Anger and frustration. That was the root cause of my most recent depression. I was angry and frustrated about certain things and instead of taking control and dealing with them, I took the path of "I am a poor victim" and suppressed the increasing anger thus creating my latest dark cloud. I am thankful (again) to my wife for her wise comment, which helped me see my folly. I then decided to take action, be in control and do what I must to deal with the things that I was angry about. That was on Saturday. Guess what? It's Monday and I'm feeling much better. may the sun rise and shine again and as I take control of my thoughts and actions, I look forward to happy days again. Thanks to those who posted comments to encourage me - it's good to know there are people who care.

Still in the dumps

2008-04-16T07:43:00.002+08:00

Looks like another depression cycle has begun for me as I'm still feeling down - sighing, lack motivation, lips and facial muscles dragged down to the floor. It doesn't help by coming down with a viral infection (sore throat, running nose, painful joints etc) and having to complete the first term exam marking and recording that has begun. Just so tired and depressed.
How I wish for a smile in my heart that will spill over on to my face bringing a bright smile and a happy countenance.
You know what I really wish to do - sit down and write the many articles I would like to do (and have collected info for them), continue writing my autobiography and the new Malay book I am attempting to do; all this in a spacious cool room with lovely soft music . . . aaah! Heaven!

Troubled and Pressured

2008-04-10T08:51:00.002+08:00

The last few days I have been a walking zombie-in-the-making. My mind is clouded and feels its packed in a tight crate, enveloped a a thick grey numbing mist. I am often sighing, yawning or frowning. As one student observed, "You don't smile anymore." There has been a sudden increase in financial demands (certain things broke down or got spoilt so have to be replaced) and a few opportunities to speak (but this means demand on time to research and face the computer for example) - maybe these are the reasons why I am down in the dumps (an appropriate term, this word dump - not a nice place to be in :( ) I know I will pull out of this, move away from the dump and begin living it up again in abundance and blessings seasoned with lots of good and happiness. See you at the top!

Down but not (trying to be) out

2008-03-28T14:41:00.004+08:00

It's finally here - the exhaustion of 'teacher work' - it has finally caught up and I'm feeling drained and zombie-like, just floating into classes and mumbling information without much thought or connectivity to the lesson, the students or to my self. I've got stuck in a boring rut with some of my classes/lessons and feel discouraged to get up and do something new and exciting to add necessary zing to the lesson and me. I just wish I need not be there in these lessons to teach - the subject matter is boring, the students indifferent and uninterested. Yet, it is the challenge I must overcome, the Goliath I must slay, the chance to be great which I must embrace . . . I am in the process of becoming an excellent teacher with amazing teaching skills in an amazingly entertaining and mentally stimulating class (how's that for a positive confession - yeah!!!)

Road to Perdition

2008-03-25T08:14:00.008+08:00

One of the constant source of frustration, anger and potential destruction of my car is the road leading in to my farm house. It is constantly in bad shape, thanks to our heavy rainfall almost everyday, rough use by big 4X4 wheels of my neighbours car and a badly created 'road'. It usually ends up as a river for the rain water to flow away and a meeting place for mud and sand.

Upon entering the 'road' to my farm house you are greeted by several large holes that just grows deeper and larger by the day.

You then have to turn right uphill facing a slope of slippery mud and again several sink mud-holes. Next its a slope down that is slippery and muddy - does wonders to your car's suspension.

Lastly, its the final stretch to my house through the valley of the rut of mud - beware the rocks may scrape the bottom of the car.

And speaking of car, this is how my car looks like after every trip back home. Thank God it's still in one piece!

Anyone willing to help repair this road? I know it costs a 'bomb' to repair and I suspect you need to know what you are doing if this problem is to be rectified correctly. Till then its drive carefully, pray hard and fill up the holes with whatever stones I can find/buy. Happy driving!

New kid on the farm

2008-03-19T23:55:00.003+08:00

A few Sundays ago, just a minute or so after my wife and I arrived at the goat house in our farm, our she goat gave birth to a blonde, cute kid (i.e. baby goat) with birth sac, blood and all (just like in the National Geographic documentaries). My wife has decided to call him (yup, it's a male) Snowy because he has a white patch on his forehead and him being blonde like a 'white man'. Now we have 4 goats on the farm - 3 males and 1 female.

Robbed . . . finally

2008-03-10T16:31:00.002+08:00

I guess it was something just waiting to happen sooner or later - my car was broken into today at around 3pm when I was buying something from a supermarket nearby. Strangely, when I stepped out of the car, I felt that it was a suitable target for a break in and so I took a large storybook and covered my portable CD player that was at the back of the car (it was rather obvious) not noticing my wife's handbag on the front passenger seat. You guessed it - the thief (thieves) smashed the front passenger door window, put his hand in (assuming it's a he) and took the bag plus my wife's handphone nearby. That's all that was missing but I'm sure I had it coming. My car is my second home and with so many things in it, it was just a matter of time plus a dropping of my guard and wham! a perfect piece of tantalizing crime bait. Anyway, I'm glad it was only a handbag and handphone. The thieves missed a lot of other valuables littered all over my car (valuable to me I mean). I also have my car and the repairs didn't cost a bomb. So it's okay! For the thief (or thieves) a little prayer commending them to a just God to punish suitably and justly either in this life or the next was made (get what you deserve from God - He's the best avenger!). The crime level in Kuching is rising slowly but surely and I guess this is just another indication of it and a reminder to me to get my car in order and all the stuff I leave in it. How's your car?

Getting them to read

2008-03-05T15:34:00.002+08:00

The increasing workload (tons of stuff to read and mark or write) its taking a toll on my mind - feel tight and about to explode; not to mention the headaches and a sense that my mind is shutting off. Even so, I press on and close my eyes to rest when it's too much.

Now to what i really want to write about - how to encourage reading. After scanning through a bunch of articles I collected from the Net, i have discovered 7 ways that seem to work:

read aloud books to those you desire to see reading. It seems that when good books are read out well, an interest is created to pick up a book and read it yourself.
present books as a treasure worth having. Reveal books true worth and teach 'them' to respect books.
make time for reading. Free time for reading makes room for books to be read.
pick up books you enjoy and find easy to read. Books must be enjoyable if it is to be read. Ditch those boring tomes you are struggling to overcome.
gossip books. Discuss what has been read with others; write reviews and create lists so others will be aware what is available and be tempted to read.
make books available. many don't read because the books they want are not available, to expensive to buy or just not within reach. Libraries should be well stocked and programs to give books out for free or recyling read books should be increased.
meet the author and have a person behind the book. Authors should make themselves known.

If you have any more ideas or want to build on my list, please do do. By the way, anyone here read a book you like or have a book you want to share?

Books to be read (Part 1)

2008-02-29T14:46:00.004+08:00

Inspired by a book I read that encouraged me to visualize what I want and the request for a book list (see previous posting) I find myself looking up book lists (Top Ten, What I've Read, Best Reads, Best Sellers . . . you get the idea) to discover and 'claim' books I would like to own and read. First to be 'visualized' is Elizabeth Gilbert's 'intensely articulate, sensible, moving and funny memoir of self-discovery about what can happen when you claim responsibility for your own contentment'. Her book? Eat, Pray, Love.

The next book on my want-to-read list is Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace... One School at a Time by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. I think the following review reveals why this book would catch my interest: "Laced with drama, danger, romance, and good deeds, Mortenson's story serves as a reminder of the power of a good idea and the strength inherent in one person's passionate determination to persevere against enormous obstacles." Along the same line is this book I must get my hands on: Leaving Microsoft to Change the World: An Entrepreneur's Odyssey to Educate the World's Children by John Wood.

In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan would be a book I would like to read because it challenges me to eat what I don't like - greens! The book looks impressive.

What should I read?

2008-02-20T08:13:00.005+08:00

One of my students, after making the comment that we share a similar interest when it comes to the books we read, suggested that I write for him a list of books that he could check out. I mulled over the idea and the more I thought about it, the more excited I got. Yes, why not a list - Peter's recommended books to read list. There's just so many books out there and searching for the right one to read can be difficult. Why not get someone who shares a similar interest suggest books they liked or like to have read - the chances of those books being suitable for you will be higher than if you had to rummage through bookshops searching for 'the book' to buy and read. So here it goes, my first list of books I read and I think you would enjoy reading too (if you had a similar interest):

Paulo Coelho - The Alchemist
All of Neil Gaiman's short stories
Dean Koontz for action, thrills and some gore
Sue Townsend's books on Adrian Mole to put a smile on your face
Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and First Things First to get your life in order
Jeffrey Archer's short stories - the best collection of short stories with surprising and delightful twists at the end of each well crafted tale
Mitch Albom's last 3 books to warm your heart and make you aware of what's really important in life
Bill Bryson's books that will help you learn about the world while you are laughing

If you are reading this, do post a comment on my list and even send me your list. What would you suggest students in secondary schools read? Happy reading!

A new year, a new 'being'

2008-01-24T09:59:00.001+08:00

It been some time since I posted anything. The good news is I'm getting more excited and positive about teaching and am more positive overall. I also have had very few bouts with depression though I struugle hard to overcome feelings of fear over the lack/absence of money and the frustration of always having not enough. If you are reading this (I wonder why) please drop in a line - love to know who's reading my blog. Happy day . . .

Lessons from a field trip

2007-11-07T08:53:00.001+08:00

Last week I took some of my students for a field trip to Sabah - KK, Manukan and Kinabalu Park. It was rather disappointing and boring as the students were rather disinterested in the places they visited and what it offered or what was around. The first question asked when in KK was "Where's the nearest cybercafe?" The students showed very little or no interest in the flora and fauna of the island and mountain, were disinterested and oblivious of their surroundings (buildings, people, sights and sounds) and the boys were consumed with computer games (many brought their gadjets and laptops to ensure uninterrupted continous computerised entertainment). Several of them constantly complaint, mostly about everything not being of highest standard and 5 star quality (I wonder if they realise they are getting what they paid for). The Koreans students had one thing on their mind (and stomach) - Korean food. They could not eat what was served and 2 boys were very hungry by the end of the trip. They ate little and supplemented their diet with junk food and the occasional KFC.
Next time I will need to do the following:

limit travelling time - if its too long, plan o make it interesting
check the food - ask for menu before trip and ensure quality, meet requirements etc. Check if anyone has allergies and for the Koreans, their own food. Consider having BBQ.
plan games, activities, challenges and things to do as groups throughout the trip
when in the city, plan for shopping and cybercafe
when grouping students, put birds of the same feather together
try to identify hidden/extra cost (Manukan island - for every activity had to pay!)
got to be more organised and well planned before going - pre trip planning, exposure, homework etc
minimise having to wake up early

Purpose in life or just existence?

2007-10-09T07:44:00.000+08:00

It is times like this that make me understand why some people just check out of life. I am in a limbo, merely breathing and going through the motions, doing what is expected of me without any passion or personal fulfilment or achievement. Makes me wonder about this extremely strong push by success gurus and the Bible on knowing your purpose and living a life aimed at fulfilling it. What if there is NO purpose - we just exist, fighting to survive, be king of the hill and enjoy the spoils? What if Darwin was right - life is just a fight of the fittest and those who lose fade away, insignificant and very quickly forgotten? The winner? Well he enjoys the spoils of his victory for a season and then he too disappears buit with a smile on his face, not like the other guy who goes into oblivion sad, depressed and downcast. The only difference is when and how we make our exit.
I am just so tired and angry at my present condition, i.e. my life. It feels like its always a battle, one that I very rarely win. I'm forever in lack and 'no money' has become the monster crusher that breaks into a thousand spliners all my plans, hopes and dreams. I am left with a few strands of dreams and plans that wither in my hand, leaving me hopeless and angry. Will I ever be able to make enough to cover all my needs and fund all my dreams and projects or will I be one who will die unfinished. My epitaph will read: He dreamt and started but could never finish. His life was an unfinished work (due to lack of funds).
My work sucks - useless administration work and exercises that have no eternal value - and I have lost almost all my enthusiasm here. There is no friendship and comradrie here with any one - some casual acquaintances - and I feel all alone, left to do my load with no one concerned or willing to help until I make a mistake. Then many are interested, come to gently rebuke and offer ""You cannot do that" or"You are in trouble" advice which makes me wonder where they were and what they were doing when I began my journey towards my mistake. The work environment and collegues are not condusive for success or for feeling well. Another minus at this place of work.
Just exist or living for a purpose? At the moment is just striving to make it to the end of the day without reaching my end . . .

Checking in

2007-09-27T11:31:00.000+08:00

Work pressure has eased considerably as the year winds down and only the final exam challenge looms darkly in the corner of my mind - will worry about that later. Have been simmering in frustration as more and more items are needed but I am unable to cough up the money needed to buy them - a pair of spectacles (bi-focal, yes . . I'm growing old), work shoes and a CD/mp3/radio player to name a few. Of course, there's the endless list of items needed to complete our unfinished 'open' house. It screams to me daily: Failure. Loser. Poor man. Unable to provide. Will you ever finish this house? Where and when will you ever get the finances to complete this project. Aaaarrrrghhh!!!! Now you know why the Incredible Hulk is one of the few superheroes I identify closely with.
The students in school are getting very stressed out. Some are showing classic signs of stress and I'm worried for their phycological condition. Hope they will be well.
Me? Well I'm slipping into a semi-depressed, shutdowm mode, doing the minimum and taking everything slow. I feel I'm wasting my life away as I slip down the slope of poverty and failure. Living zombie with no bite or passion. What a life!

De-stressed

2007-08-28T10:50:00.000+08:00

The one week holiday spent mostly at home has done wonders. I felt rested and light and a huge load of stress has been lifted. I woke up late, helped around in the farm, played with my daughter and did some chores. I basically had a laid-back week with the most important people in my life and it was very curative.
Now I'm back to work with a new level of vigour, inner confidence and strangely a new level of spirituality - more conscious of God and a desire to read the Bible and pray.
I've also stumbled on some writings on overcoming worry that basically encouraged me to take one day at a time and one task at a time and not sweat over what not able to be done (past) or what will have to be done (future) - just what I am able to do the best today.
Am also looking at eating a more proper and balanced diet. Only set back - getting very sleepy and heavy-headed again.

So far, so good

2007-08-16T15:56:00.000+08:00

The last few days have been bearable - workload has lessen, some good things have happened and I even was wide awake yesterday till about midnight (a first after so many weeks!). I have had short moments of feeling positive and 'up' and have felt more 'able'. I am just so thankful to be out of the doldrums of depression these last few days or at least feel only slightly down. It's relieving.

"Hound" at bay and ideas to live by

2007-08-13T07:51:00.000+08:00

I've been able to keep at bay the hound of depression by focusing on what I love - my family and reading - and I've made it through another week, telling myself I have Saturday to rest and Sunday to celebrate my daughter's birthday. The trip to the beach and the birthday party was worth the 5 day 'hardship slog' at school.
Found an old whiteboard of mine under an old bed at my mum's place and on it I had scribbled some wise sayings. Here they are:
1. A vision without the ability to execute, is probably a hallucination - Stephen M. Case (Reader's Digest, 2003)
2. Failure is the price you pay for success.
3. If you don't know what you want to be(come), your objective (in life) is to be a NOBODY.
4. Without a clear picture of how you wish your life to be, how on earth can you begin to live it?
I guess these kind of sayings catch my attention, I believe them and to a certain degree work hard to follow them.

You are sleepy . . .

2007-08-02T15:59:00.000+08:00

I continue to feel very depressed. I feel my facial muscles being pulled down by heavy anchors that are hooked on to the ends of my downcast lips. I keep sighing, taking turns with every breathe exhaled. Most of all I find my mind switching off ever so often and deep sleep or an intense desire to fall into deep sleep coming over me - now even in the afternoons and ever more so in the late evenings. I find myself just wasting away, washed by a loss of desire, motivation, strength and ability to do much; even mundane duties like cooking dinner, lighting the oil lamps and turning off the generator have become tasks requiring Herculean effort. When will I be back in my strong, energetic, enthusiastic and hardworking body? Maybe time will tell . . .

So hollow, baby

2007-07-31T07:51:00.000+08:00

Going to school nowadays has become a daily chore that I dread. I wake up reluctantly and wish I had another job, dragging my tired body in the darkness that envelopes my room (its 5.30 in the morning) to put on my work clothes and drive for 45 minutes to a destination I no longer look forward to.
Why such a dread and disgust? Simply this - it is not a stimulating place - there's no excitement or reason for celebration, there's nothing significant happening, and all that happens is scripted or required. It's keeping to rules and laying your eggs on demand. It's a drain on my emotions and a death blow to my mind. With an endless list of given tasks to be completed by deadlines and presentation of lessons to students who constantly need to be convinced to pay attention and do their work, I find my enthusiasm squashed and my opportunities to try new things, prepare interesting exercises or even celebrate learning all but lost.
Marking of student's work in their unkempt exercise books is tantamount to entering a brain-torturing chamber. Reading and correcting the endless badly written essays (not their fault - it's bad teaching/failure on behalf of the teacher to teach well) is really depressing and does nothing but murder my enthusiasm.
The reason is simple - all my hard work is almost not appreciated. Most students don't even look at my corrections and the few that take note do just that - acknowledge I had done my work but do nothing else. There is no re-writing of corrected work and no applying of lessons learnt from mistakes I had corrected.
So why do I do the endless, unending corrections? Its my job! and also I may be in hot soup if a parent chooses to look at his/her child's work (I wonder how many do) and discover to their horror that I didn't do my job (never mind their child didn't do his/her job) and then make a fuss that might lead to warnings or even expulsion or even worse, a media frenzy with my face splashed all over various tabloids in the state and country. So get the red pen and mark . . .
I just feel so hollow inside, a zombie robot going through the motions, unhappily fulfilling what is required of me driven by fear of punishment and the loss of a stable income. I feel I am insignificant doing activities that will mean nothing in history and in the lives of the students I teach. All this unending activity is just useless flurry, a shadow without substance, a waste of life and time . . .

Cark clouds roll in (again)

2007-07-27T08:51:00.000+08:00

By yesterday evening, the dark clouds of depression rolled in unexpectedly. It began with the end of another long, tiring and uninspiring day at work followed by a SMS from a loved one that caused concern and "upsetness". The long drive home didn't help. By the time I was at home, I felt drained of all physical and emotional strength - I found it hard to move, I was feeling angry and a deep stupor came over me. I was asleep by 9!

Dark clouds blown away

2007-07-25T10:05:00.000+08:00

My depression has lifted to a large degree, like a dark menacing cloud suddenly blown away by a merciful gust of life-giving wind. I quess what trigerred my salvation was the acceptance of a new role (i.e. slave), strong and consistent support from my lovely wife and the completion of several task (one step at a time). Still sad and bogged down by unmet desires and a feeling of facing a series of impossible demands but I am able to move forward again - it's like you were driving with your hand brakes on and then when you realize what has happened, released the brakes, and now you enjoy the release it brings. My emotional hand brakes has been released temporarily and I am relieved.

A slave to the company

2007-07-23T12:37:00.000+08:00

My depression continues, draining me of all my zest for life, my creative juices and my love for life and work. It has also brought about a very painful headache and an intense need to sleep - I usually fall into a deep sleep by 9 or 10 pm!
As I ponder my slide down sighland, I realise that I have not realised and embrace my new identity - I am actually a slave and no longer boss and master of my own life/career. I live to do as required by the school and students and have almost no power to refuse. Instead it's find ways to cope, to handle and to successfully complete the unending waves of task (paper work, marking and calculating is the worst) that pound on you daily.
I realise that if I accept my new identity as slave, than working hard, for long hours with very little time for other pursuits, with little or no gratitude from school or students and being almost totally not respected, honored and obeyed, what more appreciated IS my due, my share, my accepted lot as all slaves throughout the generations.
But it so hard when I have been boss, lord of my own life; where my work has been appreciated, neeeded, welcomed and praised and time for pursuits I enjoy is amply available. Oh how I miss my past lives . . .
Those who work for the government are called servants. I wonder if those who work for private companies/organisations are called SLAVES?
Me - school slave?

Downcast and hurting

2007-07-20T10:32:00.000+08:00

I have been extremely downcast the last few days. My cheeks sag heavily from under my eyes, dragged down by an invisible weight of discouragement and frustration; it hurts my jaw and face. The corners of my lips droop down forming an ugly upside down 'U' making me look fierce and cold. I sigh heavily very often and my mind is just a blank absent space. I do the barest minimum hoping I don't have any crisis or extra workload to battle with. I just feel so tired of trying . . . working . . . doing and doing . . . endless mindless activities . . . I miss doing important projects, giving life-changing seminars and making an important difference in the lives of people.

Lost time and mutant teachers

2007-07-06T08:48:00.000+08:00

I just can't believe it! I've been so busy, consumed every second by the never-ending deluge of 'teacher's work' until I've literally have no time left to pursue any of the interesting things I enjoy doing with my life - writing, reading and conversing with life-enhancing and encouraging people. I can't believe that it has been so long since I even had a few minutes to spare to jot some words down in this blog! What a waste of my life. Where has the opportunity to pursue happiness and to do what I love gone to?
2nd term exams loom like dark clouds, promising only a tempest of torrential marking of exam papers and the endless drudgery of collecting, calculating and recording students exam marks on their white cardboard report cards, only to be received with dismay and contested by ungrateful or at the least, indifferent students. Indeed the saying is true - "I love teaching but I hate being a teacher". You would have thought a teacher is one who teaches but teaching has mutated into a series of duties far distant to this 'ideal duty'. Instead a teacher is a multi-tasker, a servant to school and student, a rat on a rolling cage that leads to a thankless grave. Go figure!

Keep your nose on the grindstone

2007-05-24T10:06:00.000+08:00

Keep your nose on the grindstone - what a painful thing to do especially if you have a long nose like mine. No wonder we find it hard to keep our noses close to any grindstone (a strange metaphor for work that needs to be done; yet so apt as it is hard and rough and continually turns, never ending). Anyway, this is the topic of conversation and competition by someone I know and as I have heard Robert Raymer teach last year and flipped through his book (interesting, and yes I would like to have a copy in my library), I've decided to give my two-cents worth on how to keep your nose to the grindstone (ouch!).

Get a tough nose (i.e. toughen yourself emotionally and mentally) - you will need to have passion, drive, desire and a mind set to do the work if you ever want the "nose" to be on the grindstone.
Get a strong body attached to the nose (i.e. you got to be fit and healthy) - the many cakes, junkfood and sodas will not help you keep to the task ahead. A clear mind and fit body really does help. Sadly, I am yet to be in possession of such a body.
Use smaller and/or softer grindstones (i.e. do smaller and easier task) - this is a no-brainer. When a large elephant is cut into smaller pieces and cook in lovely rendang curry, it is much easier to swallow and before you know it you have eaten an elephant!
Visit the grindstone at agreed times (i.e. slot predetermine times to do the task at hand) - anyone knows that putting your nose continuosly at the grindstone will result is an absent nose and not a sharp nose! So visit the grindstone when necessary and keep it on the grindstone until the work is done and no longer (hint: overtime and extra work is no good).
Remember the grindstone is to change rocks into diamonds (i.e. have the goal of the task in mind all the time) - always remind yourself the purpose and final outcome of the task; hopefully it is a diamond and not a lump of clay! If all the hard work is to produce a diamond, the grinding is worth it. If not, put your nose somewhere else!

Well, that's my two-cents worth. If you're reading this 'you-know-who" do place me in your consideration list. Raymer's book will be good in my library!!!

Hats Off to Serendipity - Sue Ellen Cooper

2007-05-23T08:39:00.000+08:00

What have I learnt from Sue's success story:
1. a vivid imagination and all that comes with it like fantasy and make-believe is an important ability to have
2. Seek out the whimsical, beautiful and fantastic in your life - they may just contain the gold you're looking for
3. follow your instincts
4. Share what you love and find interesting - it may just be what you should do to be successful
5. have a clear purpose for what you are doing (hint: making money is not one of them!)
6.whatever you choose to do, make sure it's something that provides you the opportunity to pass along your love for life,to follow your instincts and to remain true to your values

Against All Odds - David Anderson

2007-05-21T07:56:00.000+08:00

Lessons learnt from David's success:
1. become a small-business owner - a businessman
2. follow your childhood dream - what was your passion when you were a kid?
3. forays into the business world can be successful at times but oftentimes it will fail
4. never give up on your dreams
5. problems are opportunities for a new life
6. the best advertisement is word of mouth
7. to be the best, visit all your competition, taste/use all their products, personally make/cook your product. Do all this to pursue the best you can produce.
8. your success is worth more because it provides jobs and opportunities to so many people
9. adversity will help make you stronger and wiser
10. live your life in gratitude
11. your higher purpose should be to make a positive difference in the lives of others
12. you are here to serve.

Quote: At night, I remember gazing into the heavens, thinking about the billions and billions of stars that sparkled in the northern sky. I wondered if my life would shine brilliantly like one of the bright stars above, or if my life would be like one of the billion stars that just faded off into the vastness of space. Determined to shine brilliantly, I followed my childhood dream . . .

To remember when next invigilating for an exam

2007-04-19T16:09:00.000+08:00

Just finished invigilating for an exam. I realised that there are things I must remeber to do, have and bring when I next be the teacher-in-charge of an examination. Here's the list:
1. have a large functioning clock in front of the hall for all to see
2. put up a board to write any notices etc.
3. make sure tables for students are of proper size and height
4. go early and open all the doors and windows of the hall (or get the students to do it). Also switch on the fan and lights early
5. Make sure the sun rays and wind from the blowing fans do not hit directly on the students
6. escort the students who need to go to the toilet
7. bring a stapler with enough staple bullets
8. no pencil cases or computer covers allowed in the examination hall
water bottles allowed
9. time yourself well when laying out the exam papers - all should be on the tables 10 minutes before the exam begins
10. teachers are to give the name list of the students taking their paper at least a day before the examination
11. count all the examination papers collected - must tally with the name list.
12. different students take different papers - make a card with the students name and a list of subjects be placed on each table and a tick next to the subjects the student is taking. This will help in the distribution of the exam papers.

A time to begin

2007-04-12T16:34:00.000+08:00

I'm half asleep and my mind is numb. I just want to do something interesting and so I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and have my own blog. I guess some of my students would love to read my blog and maybe I can create an interesting, crowd-gathering blog that would become the rave all over the blog world. Maybe . . . But for now I will have to learn the ropes, decide what to write and actually make time to type and post my entertaining and revealing thoughts. So if you're reading this, thanks and welcome to my world.